DAY 2- Monday May 17, 2010

I took time for me today. I went to a local coffee shop and read lots and spent some time thinking (and praying). I wrote out lots of stuff about overcoming self-injury.

I have not self-injured since Saturday evening. I threw out my “tools”when I got home from church yesterday.

I listened to some good music at the coffee shop, wrote lots in my journal specifically about my relationsp with my spouse. I am seeing more clear than I have in months.

I’m still really struggling with depression, the impulses, and the anxiety, but this is a step in a positive direction. I made a list of what I will/ will not allow in my life any more. All these things are giving me little doses of strength and control back. Each realization or action pushes me one step further away from the ledge. It feels good.

I am glad that I reached out, even if I didn’t intend to. It was the weirdest moment ever. My Pastor came to me and asked how I was; I said “I’ve been better.” He asked what was going on…. and I pulled up my sleeve. I thought for sure I would be judged, condemned. But instead, I found love… and acceptance, not chastisement. They spent an hour with me…. talking, praying, but MOSTLY JUST LISTENING Smile

Supposed to send Mrs H an email on Wednesday and let her know how my week is going. She said I could call if I got really edgy and needed someone to help me through it. WOW!