One of the weirdest things about being on antidepressants is that my mind is stilled. It’s quiet. Silent. Gone are the deep, dark thoughts. The broken hearted cries. Banished into the abyss, for now.

I feel numb. I don’t know what’s worse- the mental and emotional anguish I was living, or the numb void left in my mind. Do you know what it feels like to sit silent for a whole minute and not have an entire thought cross your mind? I do now, but I didn’t before today.

Day three on medication, and the whirling and turning, the creeping venom of unfiltered thoughts has ceased. It’s an odd phenomenon. I feel weird. I keep waiting for another virus to interrupt this quiet space in my head, this empty place. So far, none has come.

Even as I write this, my mind is still, only thinking of the words in front of me. No interruptions, no landslides, no tornadoes ripping me to shreds. Just silence. What is wrong with this picture? It’s going to take some getting used to. I don’t know if it will always feel this way, or if this is just a nice break from the usual chaos in my head, but it is alien.

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